Are you unable to deal with in-laws who are living with you? As the newest member of the family, and having no blood-relation with them at all, things can get stressful. But it’s up to us to decide who we allow close to us. Besides, it’s not always that easy to block people from our lives, if they live with us in the same house.
I have been married for a while and I do know a thing or two about dealing with my in-laws who are living with me. Being an optimist, I am always on the lookout for any woman who feels neglected because of some negativity around. This happens due to stereotyping of daughter-in-laws by our society after marriage in India. In this article, I have outlined a few highly effective tips to manage live-in inlaws, while remaining calm and stress free ourselves, as a daughter-in-law (or even as a son-in-law!).
Stop being a perfect daughter-in-law
The biggest mistake you can make as a new bride or even as an experienced daughter-in-law is by pushing yourself too hard. Nobody is perfect, not even the beautiful moon. You have to make your in-laws realise that perfection is just a myth. So stay the way you used to (like you were at your parent’s place). Then your in-laws will sooner or later learn to accept you as your real self. This will save you from getting drained, physically, mentally and emotionally everyday.
Start setting respectful boundaries
It is important that you set your boundaries straight. In the same home, this becomes all the more essential. Do not voluntarily give away unlimited access to you. This will keep you at a healthy distance from one another and save your peace from getting ruined. For instance, close the door of your room and latch it from inside when you want some time alone. In case you want to talk to them, knock on their door before entering, so that they make it a habit to do the same too.
Don’t lose your temper
Do not under any circumstances, create a situation where you end up foul mouthing or fighting with your in-laws. This trait can become difficult to control in you and in them, if you fan it once or twice. Be the bigger and the forgiving person. Believe in talking out things sanely like a mature adult. Argument never yields a logical solution. So keep an eye out for positives. Be the calm one, hear everyone out and be the last to offer your logical and in-depth stance. For that to happen, you need to polish your listening skills too.
Give and command respect silently
Maintain respect at all times. This will yield a cordial environment indoors. Give respect as much as you can and you will surely get the same or more in return. However, do not get subjugated, but stay polite and value others around you. Your respectful behaviour will surely lead to a happier home.
How to convince my husband about my point of view?
At times, there can be disagreements on things and your husband may be unaware of the discussion between you and your in-laws. In such a scenario, as a new family member, you must tell him everything that happens in the household. Try to keep these discussions brief and to-the-point without misrepresenting the real facts.
A family that solves issues calmly and unitedly, can stay happily together. Also, when it comes to managing in-laws, you need to have a smart grip over the situation or the whole equation might go for a toss. In order to avoid an uncanniness, you need to define your boundaries today. Only then, you will be able to lead a stress-free life and make it a productive one with happy relationships around.
